She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
