Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize