I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
