I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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