I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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