I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I just went to clothing optional bar
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
