Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
