I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
