Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize