Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
