Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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