Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
