Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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