your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Too much gin, very little bucket
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
