When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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