he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
