guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
