Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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