I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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