I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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