Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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