Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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