Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Fuck appropriateness.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
