i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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