why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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