I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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