Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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