The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
