In the future we'll all be gay
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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