How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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