Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
