i wish peter jackson would direct porn
handjob tips. give me some.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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