youre lurking in front of me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
