She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They have beer where we have blood.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize