a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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