I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
