STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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