I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
