shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Congratulations! We have a period
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