I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize