No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
