I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
