I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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