I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
