first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
