So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
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She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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