she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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