GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize