Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
