I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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