OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
