Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
