he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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