i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
