He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
