you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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