i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
