Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You pole danced in your parka.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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