Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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