Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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