When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm just crazy horny about you
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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