I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
