you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
