Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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