The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
