he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
